Official guidance · funny invoice gift

A gag gift that bills them for their worst habit.

Everyone knows someone with a habit the rest of the group quietly pays for. The ECA Invoice itemizes it: the terrible advice they seem to follow, who paid and how much, and the Better Move that would settle the account. Printed and handed over, it gets read aloud.

Write their invoice From the ECA book

A finished ECA Invoice billing a coworker for adjusting the office thermostat — Billed in blankets, locks and one fern

Under five dollarsOne personalized invoice is $4.99, with nothing to ship and no subscription.

Itemized for your storyThree charges in deadpan units, like 800 chimes or 12 blankets, plus a balance due paid in good behavior.

Print it tonightIt opens right after checkout and prints on one page. Fold it into an envelope marked FINAL NOTICE.

Why an invoice works as a gag gift

A complaint can sound like a complaint. An invoice sounds like accounting, which is funnier: the habit gets a lesson name, a rung on the ladder, and line items for everyone who paid. The joke lands because the details are true and the tone is completely calm.

Who to bill

Pick a harmless habit the whole room recognizes: the reply-all coworker, the roommate whose pan is always soaking, the friend who is forty minutes late, the uncle who brought slides to the wedding. Shared jokes land; private grudges do not.

Occasions

White elephant and Secret Santa swaps, office farewells, retirements, birthdays and roommate move-outs. Every invoice ends with a Better Move and a small repair, so the recipient gets a way to settle up.

Example language from the record
Itemized charges: half the office, for blankets at every desk, 12 blankets. The office manager, for a locked thermostat cover, 1 lock. Balance due: one week at seventy-one.

Questions entered into the record

What is the ECA Invoice?

A satirical itemized invoice from the ECA series, the companion to the book The Everyday Common Asshole. It names the lesson the behavior is following, lists who paid, and offers a Better Move.

Is it a real bill?

No. It is a novelty document for entertainment. Nobody owes anything, except perhaps an apology.

How fast can I have it?

It is written as soon as payment is confirmed and opens right away to print or save as a PDF. You can edit the wording afterwards.

Can I keep it anonymous?

Yes. Your name on the invoice can be anything, including The Office or The Group Chat.

Someone always pays. Check who.

Tell us what they did and pay once. The invoice is written for your story, opens right away, and prints on one page. No subscription.

Bill them for $4.99