The Ministry of Petty AffairsFile a grievance
Official guidance ยท going-away gift

A going-away gift that formally objects to the leaving.

Someone is leaving, and the team has concerns. File an incident report on the abandonment of the snack drawer, the end of the Friday playlist and the unauthorized departure of the only person who understood the printer.

Start a filing freeBrowse grievance ideas
A satirical HR incident report used as a going-away gift
Filed on their last day
A send-off with a punchlineRead it at the farewell lunch or tuck it inside the card.
From the whole teamCollect a few favorite stories and put them on the record.
Instant and printableReady as soon as payment is confirmed, for $4.99.

Charge them with leaving

The funniest farewell reports treat the departure itself as the offense, with findings about everything the team will now have to do alone.

Use inside jokes carefully

Pick stories the departing coworker would happily tell themselves. If in doubt, choose the harmless habit over the awkward moment.

Give them a final plan

The 30/60/90-day plan becomes their homework: send one photo of the new office, keep in touch, and admit the old coffee was better.

Example language from the record

Finding of fact: the subject has been the sole person able to fix the third-floor printer since 2021 and has scheduled their departure without completing a handover.

Questions entered into the record

Is this suitable for a manager to give?

Yes, as long as it stays affectionate. It is clearly satire and carries no official weight.

Can I edit it after it is written?

Yes. You can adjust the wording after purchase.

Can I print several copies?

Yes. Download it once and print as many as you like.

Petty grievances deserve due process.

Start free, review the filing receipt, and unlock the complete personalized document for a one-time $4.99 payment. No subscription.

Open a case