The Ministry of Petty AffairsFile a grievance
Official guidance · Royal Court

Bring the smallest offense before the Royal Court.

Petition the Court, state the charge, and obtain a parchment writ with findings, severity, a ruling, and the gravity your grievance has always deserved.

Start a filing freeBrowse grievance ideas
Completed Royal Writ of Grievance on parchment
Royal Court · completed example
For household offensesUnwashed dishes, thermostat wars, missing chargers, loud chewing, and disputed leftovers.
Personal heraldryThe filing presents the matter as a ceremonial record with a crest, crown, seal, and case number.
A measured rulingThe final order aims for dry, theatrical justice rather than humiliation or harassment.

What is a Writ of Grievance?

It is a personalized satirical certificate that frames an everyday annoyance as a matter before an imaginary royal court. The filing names the parties, summarizes the charge, records findings, assigns a severity score, and issues an appropriately overformal ruling.

Who should receive one?

A writ works best for someone who will recognize the story and appreciate the joke: a spouse who keeps moving the thermostat, a roommate who abandons dishes, a friend who arrives forty minutes late, or a relative who has again taken the best chair.

How to write the strongest petition

Give the Court one clear incident and two or three concrete details. Avoid private information and explain the behavior rather than attacking the person. The more precise the evidence, the more personal the finished writ feels.

Example language from the record

By order of the Court, the accused shall return the borrowed charger to its customary drawer before nightfall and shall henceforth petition before removing it from the realm.

Questions entered into the record

Does the writ have legal standing?

No. It is entertainment and is not issued by any real court, government, employer, or legal authority.

What do I receive?

A completed personalized writ that can be viewed online, downloaded as a PNG, printed, saved as a PDF, and shared by link.

Is there a subscription?

No. The complete filing is a one-time purchase.

Petty grievances deserve due process.

Start free, review the filing receipt, and unlock the complete personalized document for a one-time $4.99 payment. No subscription.

Open a case