The Ministry of Petty AffairsFile a grievance
Official guidance ยท white elephant gift

A white elephant gift that settles an old score.

Most white elephant gifts are forgotten by January. A formal writ about the time someone took the last slice, printed and folded into an envelope, gets read aloud, passed around and stolen twice.

Start a filing freeBrowse grievance ideas
A finished Royal Court writ used as a white elephant gift
A writ, wrapped and waiting to be stolen
Under five dollarsOne finished writ or report is $4.99, with no subscription and nothing to ship.
Made about your groupName the office, the family or the friend group, and the grievance everyone already knows about.
Print it tonightDownload, print or save as a PDF straight after checkout. Roll it up with a ribbon for full ceremony.

Why it works at a swap

White elephant rounds reward the gift people talk about. A document that formally charges someone with hoarding the good scissors turns the unwrapping into a performance, and the room supplies the laughter.

Choose a grievance the whole room shares

Pick something harmless and collective: the office thermostat, the family member who always brings store-bought dip, the group chat that never decides on a restaurant. Shared jokes land; private ones confuse.

Make the unwrapping count

Roll the printed writ and tie it with string, or seal the HR report in a manila envelope stamped CONFIDENTIAL. The more official the wrapping, the better the reveal.

Example language from the record

The Court finds the accused guilty of repeatedly adjusting the office thermostat to sixty-four degrees and sentences them to one week of announcing every adjustment to the full department.

Questions entered into the record

How fast can I have it?

Your writ or report is written as soon as payment is confirmed and opens right away for download and printing.

Can I keep it anonymous?

Yes. The claimant name can be anything, including The Office or Your Secret Santa.

Is it a real legal document?

No. It is a satirical novelty document with no legal or official standing.

Petty grievances deserve due process.

Start free, review the filing receipt, and unlock the complete personalized document for a one-time $4.99 payment. No subscription.

Open a case