← The Ministry of Petty Affairs
Free · Instant · Deeply official

Get a free petty verdict.

Name the accused, pick the offense, and the Ministry rules on the spot. Share the verdict card anywhere. Nothing you type leaves your browser.

Satire. No legal standing. Keep it kind.

Want the full writ?

The free verdict is one line. The complete document is written from your story: findings of fact, a severity ruling, a sentence and a motto for the accused (or a full HR case file with a 30/60/90-day improvement plan). $4.99, one time.

File a full grievance →
A complete Royal Court writ of grievance